Day Nineteen - Social Connection
“Nature has given men one tongue but two ears, that we may hear from others twice as much as we speak.” Epictetus
Today's challenge is to deepen your listening skills. Being a good listener is underrated and like most things is a skill that is learnt not born. Listening has never been more important as our communication becomes increasingly digitized and views polarized. The ability to listen can make a big difference in both your social and professional life so here are some simple ideas to try:
Be present. Obviously if are using an electronic device, multitasking or focusing elsewhere then its likely to be a low quality interaction
Listen more. Consider how much time you spend listening versus talking, if you are the listener then a ratio to aim for would be 80% listening and 20% talking.
Good listeners use verbal and non verbal cues. Use body language, like nodding, to show you’re interested
Ask questions. Use open and enquiring questions to show you interest in understanding deeper. “Tell me about yourself…”
5 Check in. Repeating back your partner’s perspective in your own words. “What I’m hearing you say is …”
The final three components listed above are the major components of active listening: expressing verbal and nonverbal interest in what the person is saying, paraphrasing, and asking the person to elaborate.2
So what technique might make you a better listener?
Reference
The Golden Sayings of Epictetus. Epictetus. BC
The nature of supportive listening www.researchgate.net/profile/Graham_Bodie
Further reading
Read: You’re Not Listening. Kate Murphy. 2020
Watch: Julian Treasure - Five ways to listen better (watched 9 million times) www.ted.com
** Disclaimer – Part of the Build Your Ideal Day Program – 30 Day challenge by Duncan Young. All content and media on the Build Your Ideal Day Website is for informational purposes only. It is not intended to be a substitute for professional medical advice and should not be relied on as health or personal advice.
